生活智慧宝典 开心笑话 英汉对照PDF|Epub|txt|kindle电子书版本网盘下载

生活智慧宝典 开心笑话 英汉对照PDF格式电子书版下载

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Boy,oh Boy3

Laughing and Crying3

目录3

童趣篇3

笑与哭4

让人无奈的孩子4

I Got the Wrong Number5

Two Pounds of Plums5

我拨错号了6

两磅李子6

We Don't Live Here7

Black Cat Can Bring Luck7

我们不住在这儿8

黑猫带来吉祥8

A Clever Son9

I'm Sorry9

Where Is Father9

聪明的儿子10

我很惋惜10

爸爸在哪儿10

Father and Son11

Grapes and Bananas11

父与子12

葡萄和香蕉12

Chap in the Coffin13

Where Is Benny13

棺材里的那个家伙14

本尼在哪儿14

Does He Bite15

I Don't Want to Be the First One15

它咬人吗16

我不想当第一16

The Thinker17

Watching TV17

Mother and Son17

思想者18

看电视18

母与子18

Why Not Divorce from Daddy19

Mother and Daughter19

为什么不和爸爸离婚20

母与女20

I'm First Out21

The Embarrassed Magician21

An Interesting Pupil21

我第一个出去22

尴尬的魔术师22

有趣儿的小学生22

The Result of Laziness23

No Use23

I Will Be Ill Tomorrow23

懒惰的结果24

没用24

明天我要生病24

Please Complain25

Good Advice25

请抱怨26

好主意26

The Price Tag27

Give and Take27

价码牌28

给和拿28

He Won29

I Can't Spell It29

他赢了30

我不会拼写30

Without Teeth31

No Damage Is Done31

没牙32

没打坏什么东西32

Give Your Seat33

Only with a Different Head33

让座34

只是头不一样34

He's Just Been to the Zoo35

One Phone35

他刚去过动物园36

只有一个电话36

Learn Too Much History37

Can His Football Come to Play37

要学习太多的历史38

他的足球能出来玩一会吗38

Play Outside39

To Find a New Doctor39

到外边去玩40

换个医生40

Hospitality41

He Was Hitted41

好客42

挨揍42

A Baby Sister43

A Coward43

小妹妹44

胆小的人44

Give Away45

Two Baths45

泄密46

两次澡46

Not a Good Cook47

I Taught the Teacher47

Pain-Killers47

不是好厨师48

我教老师48

止痛药48

Gum and Feet51

An Exam and Deceit51

校园篇51

口香糖和双脚52

考试与欺骗52

I Hope So Too53

The Dog Graduated53

Who Isn't Here53

我也希望如此54

那只狗毕业了54

谁没来54

Two Women Make One Thousand Ducks55

Animal with Four Legs55

两个女人就顶一千只鸭子56

四条腿的动物56

The Silly Teacher57

Big Hands57

It's Sunda yTomorrow57

愚蠢的老师58

一双大手58

明天是星期天58

You Do It59

Who Is a Dumh-bell59

你来叫醒他60

谁是笨蛋60

A Bad Tooth61

Parent and Teacher61

牙痛62

家长和教师62

Beer63

Who Is an Idiot63

Two Pronouns63

啤酒64

谁是白痴64

两个代词64

Neither Did I65

He Knows the Answer65

The Dean'sWords65

我也没及格66

他知道答案66

院长的话66

HeDoesn'tlike His Teacher67

Nobody's Perfect67

Five Minus One67

他不喜欢老师68

没有十全十美的人68

五减一68

The Reason ofBeing Late69

Mixed Doubles69

An Absolute Zero69

迟到的原因70

混合双打70

零分70

The Biggest in the World71

Improvement71

世界上最大的72

进步72

Two Birds73

Who Discovered Australia73

两只鸟74

谁发现了澳大利亚74

Nouns75

Two Cows75

Typing75

名词76

两头奶牛76

打字76

He Can't Read It77

Correct77

他看不懂78

很对78

Writing a Composition79

Guessing a Riddle79

写作文80

猜谜80

Copy81

Answer Back81

I Know81

抄袭82

还口82

我知道82

Jenny's Choice83

Someone Is Going to Get aReal Walloping83

詹妮的选择84

有人会挨一顿狠揍的84

The Composition Class85

The Common Practice85

作文课86

惯例86

An Abstract Noun87

Please Tell Me87

抽象名词88

请告诉我88

Too Much Homework89

An Orphan89

She Doesn't Like Reading89

作业太多90

一名孤儿90

她不喜欢看书90

History Repeated Itself91

The Future Tense91

The Student Know Nothing91

历史再现92

将来时92

学生们一无所知92

Latin93

Frank's Answer93

Is He a Good Student93

拉丁语94

弗兰克的回答94

他是个好学生吗94

A Perfect Record95

I Know95

完美的纪录96

我知道96

I Don't Feel Like Getting into an Argument97

Prepare Yourself97

我不想争论98

自己做好准备98

Right Answer99

YouDon't Know My Father99

是正确答案吗100

你不了解我父亲100

Is Billy a Good Boy101

贝利是个好孩子吗102

My Son Is Home105

Innermost Pear105

家庭篇105

儿子回家了106

内心深处的恐惧106

Where Is She107

Bring Me a Glass ofMilk107

她在哪儿108

捎杯牛奶108

A Poor Man109

I'm Still Counting109

一位可怜的男人110

我还在数呢110

A Clever Woman111

Respectable Boyfriend111

聪明的女人112

体面的男友112

You Are Far above Average113

Is He an Author113

She'd Rather Buy a Gift113

你大大超过平均值114

他是作家吗114

她宁愿买一件礼物114

Cat and Baby115

It's Not My Fault115

猫和宝宝116

这不是我的过错116

Letters from Sons117

A Machine-gun117

Quits117

儿子来信118

一挺机关枪118

截住118

He Is Welcome119

I Thought It Was Mine119

欢迎他来120

我以为是我的手120

The Top Part121

No Wonder121

上半部分122

难怪122

The Crowd123

Johnny Knew123

一群人124

约翰尼知道124

Thank Goodness125

I'm Your Wife125

谢天谢地126

我是你的妻子126

To Learn French127

Who Is the Laziest127

学法语128

谁最懒128

To Scare Them129

She Ate All My Bait129

吓吓他们130

她把所有的诱饵都吃了130

I Caught Every Step131

A Dog's Life131

我一级也没漏132

狗一样的生活132

A Compliment133

The postage133

恭维话134

邮票134

A Definition135

Comparison135

定义136

比较136

Just Like a Native137

Politeness137

就像一个本地人138

礼貌138

Bedtime Prayers139

My Daughter'sVoice Is Improving139

睡前祷告词140

我女儿的嗓音在提高140

The Father and His Son141

Is Ink So Expensive141

父与子142

墨水很贵吗142

Relative by Marriage143

Why Is He under the Bed143

婆家的亲戚144

他为什么在床下144

I'm All Right145

Whom Does the Baby Look Like145

我没事146

孩子到底像谁146

Come from Heaven147

Cheering Grandfather up147

Who Killed Her Husband147

从天堂来148

使爷爷高兴148

谁杀死了她丈夫148

The Broken Vase149

The Couldn't Have One149

Feet and Shoes149

被打碎的花瓶150

不许吃的馅饼150

脚与鞋150

Instead of Speaking151

He Is Too Old151

代替说话152

他太老了152

Who Is the Head of the House153

I Had to Change It Twice153

谁是一家之主154

换两次154

You Must Marry Him155

Who's the Writer155

你必须嫁给他156

谁是作家156

Is Jack Henpecked157

How about the Kitchen157

杰克怕老婆吗158

去厨房怎么样158

He Hooked None159

Sixteen Kids159

他什么也没钓着160

16个孩子160

I've Gone Wrong161

Try to Hit Something Cheap161

我错了162

尽力撞便宜的东西162

I Knocked His Teeth Out163

Mashed Potatoes163

Is It True163

我把他的牙敲掉了164

土豆泥164

是真的吗164

You'll Live to Be Eighty167

Twenty Dollars for Puling a Tooth167

医院、公司、商场167

你会活到80岁168

拔一颗牙收费20美元168

Finger169

I Can Do Nothing169

手指170

我无能为力170

Statistics171

Why Is He Howling171

统计172

他为什么嚎叫172

Is He Dying173

I Can't Sleep173

他就要死了吗174

我睡不着174

Three Surgeons175

You Need Glasses175

三个外科医生176

你需要配眼镜176

I Am Right177

A Stubborn Horse177

我是正确的178

倔强的马178

Time Warp179

Reducing179

Lost Memory179

时间的偏差180

减肥180

失忆180

Good Advice181

How Do You Feel Now181

忠告182

你现在的感觉如何182

An Interesting Doctor183

He Is Dying183

Don't Lift It183

有趣的医生184

他就要死了184

不要举起来184

Make a List185

The Doctor's Advice185

列名单186

医生的忠告186

It's Not a Cap187

I'm Not Fussy187

Pay For the Bill187

那不是帽子188

我不挑剔188

付治疗费188

Last Raise189

Life after Death189

上一次晋升190

死后再生190

Qualified191

A Clever Answer191

胜任192

聪明的回答192

How Do You Know Your Computer Is Male193

The Clerk Grows a Beard193

怎么知道你的计算机是男性194

职员留胡子194

They Were Business Calls195

Beginner's High Salary195

它们是生意上的电话196

初来者的高薪水196

What Should He Do197

Visitors'Parking197

他该干什么198

来宾停车位198

Haven't Done Anything199

Are Those Flowers Nice199

没干什么200

那些花漂亮吗200

Would That Be Satisfactory201

A Clever Employee201

这样满意吗202

聪明的雇员202

Christmas Cards203

The Customer Is Always Right203

圣诞卡片204

顾客永远正确204

Way of Inducing205

Do Shopping Early205

招客有方206

采购过早206

He Is Not Afraid of Death209

On the Bus209

交通篇209

他不怕死210

在汽车上210

Help Me off the Train211

It's My Turn211

帮我下火车212

该轮到我了212

Special Sandwiches213

I'm the Driver213

特殊的三明治214

我是司机214

Where's My Trailer215

A New Car215

我的拖车呢216

一辆新汽车216

In the Crowded Bus217

Couldn't Slow Down217

Forty-five217

在拥挤的公共汽车上218

没法减速218

四十五218

It's Not That219

You Should Know219

并非如此220

你应该清楚220

I'll Walk221

To Save the Trouble221

我走着去222

省事222

A Round Ticket223

You Might Be as Lucky as That Man223

一张往返车票224

没准你会和他一样幸运224

The Judge Who Had a Squint225

To Get Home before an Accident225

斜眼法官226

在出事前赶回家226

I'm Not Daft227

Flying Too Low227

我不傻228

飞得太低了228

Lunch and Belts229

A Woman Motorist229

午饭和安全带230

一位驾驶汽车的妇女230

Ring Me One of the Winners233

An Interesting Man233

社会交往篇233

给我拿一只获胜的来234

一位有趣儿的男人234

Is He Better235

A Forgetful Professor235

An Interesting Answer235

他好多了吗236

健忘的教授236

趣答236

It's Your Wrist Watch237

Are You Fishing Now237

Who Is a Fool237

那是你的手表238

在钓鱼吗238

谁是傻瓜238

She Is Too Fat239

An Interesting Waitress239

A Timid Hunter239

一个顶俩240

有趣儿的女服务员240

胆怯的猎人240

Three Dollars for Two Pigs241

Her Name Is Ada241

A Clever Robber241

两头猪3美元242

她叫艾达242

聪明的强盗242

Asking the Way243

A Woman Who Fell243

问路244

摔倒的女人244

Good News and Bad News245

Two Cross-eyed Men245

好消息和坏消息246

两个斜眼的人246

The Dances Are Short247

What Does Mr．Johnson Want to Borrow247

舞曲很短248

巧借网球拍248

Ten Pounds249

Theme249

10英镑250

题目250

Is He Dying251

I Don't Know251

他快死了吗252

不知道252

In the Library253

Foolish Questions253

在图书馆里254

愚蠢的问题254

Only Saw One255

A Miracle255

奇迹256

只看见一个256

In Trouble257

We Didn't Meet Any257

尴尬258

一只也没碰到258

Believed Him259

Keepin One Place259

相信260

放在一起260

Throw Him a Bit261

I Couldn't See Much261

扔它一点262

我没看到多少262

Go Home for Pyjamas263

Each Other263

回家去拿睡衣264

互相像264

Is Mrs Jones Clever265

I'm Not Interested265

琼斯夫人聪明吗266

我不感兴趣266

What Do You Mean267

Modern Art267

你这是什么意思268

现代艺术268

Barking Dogs Don't Bite269

The Twins269

叫狗不咬人270

双胞胎270

Push the Bell with Your Elbow271

How Much Is the Plane Fare271

用你的胳膊肘按门铃272

飞机票价是多少272

Wings275

One Side ofthe Case275

其他275

翅膀276

一面之辞276

The Story of a Snail277

The Ability ofthe Kangaroo277

蜗牛的故事278

袋鼠的能力278

Scores279

Hair Transplant279

得分280

移植头发280

Rope or Ox281

TheyAreOnlyPlayingforPeanuts281

绳子还是公牛282

他们只是赌花生而已282

The Reply Letter of the Department of Agriculture283

农业部的回信284

The Effect ofAdvertisement285

广告的效果286

I Had to Take My Coat off287

我不得不脱了衣服干288

We Left Nothing289

The Cartoon289

我们什么也没留下290

漫画290

Disconcerting291

尴尬292

Effect of Soap293

Repair the Doorbell293

肥皀的效力294

修门铃294

Does She Agree295

A Cunning Newsboy295

It Bothers My Wife295

她同意吗296

狡猾的报童296

它打扰了我妻子296

Handsome297

I Have a Bike with Me297

What Do You Need297

够味298

我骑自行车来的298

您需要什么298

She Knew Him Now299

What Is Happiness299

她知道他是谁了300

什么是幸福300

Wel-mannerde301

The Loss Outweighs the Gain301

非常有礼貌302

得不偿失302

Chasing the Hat303

What to Do with the Other Leg303

追赶帽子304

另一条腿怎么办304

The Brave Fireman305

Mixed up305

勇敢的消防队员306

搞混了306

A Grandfather Clock307

Providence Cares for Everyone307

一只旧挂钟308

上帝关心每一个人308

Contradicting Each Other309

Free of Charge309

互相反驳310

免费310

Why Are You Crying311

你为什么哭312

You Look Perfectly Fit to Me313

我看你还很健壮嘛314

Two Skulls315

I'm Not Swimming315

两颗头盖骨316

我不是游泳316

To Throw a Rock317

To Be Continued317

扔石头318

待续318

The Monkey319

猴子320

Miss English Cowhide321

An Interesting General321

英国牛皮女士322

有趣儿的将军322

Got a Match323

有火柴吗324